2021 — farewell, you were good to me.

1 year.

12 months.

52 weeks.

365 days.

8760 hours.

525600 seconds.

And more.

There is an infinite number of ways to quantify 2021. There is an even greater number of ways to put it in a neat box and not think about the numbers again. Except, maybe, this time I do not want to forget the year entirely. I want to think of it less in terms of how many working days I had and more in terms of how many of my days were happy and how many of them were spent living. It is easier to count the number of days on a calendar and much harder to understand how those days sometimes blend together in terms of emotions, in terms of how you feel, in terms of how you have grown as a person, or simply how they have manifested a version of you that did not exist before.

Another sun has set tonight; another sun will rise tomorrow. This year, I want to be able to remember some of these sunsets and sunrises as best as I can. I want to be able to say I lived for them. There are lessons I want to remember, reminders I want to have taped to my door, and experiences I want to have as a part of me forever. Reflecting upon these, I hope you find some of yourself in them and if not, I hope the coming year provides you with your own stories to write and your own experiences to live.

1. Love people purposefully. Nobody is easy to love, nobody is easy to put up with on some days. And most certainly, nobody is perfect. Learn to love people regardless and in spite of. Put in the effort, put in the energy, let love within your heart, and don’t let the world harden you. Let there be room for more sunshine.

2. You are going to fail. And that’s okay. Possibly one of the hardest lessons I have learned is to try and not to hold myself to a standard humanly impossible to meet. It’s okay to fail. At relationships, at work, at academics, at something you thought you had all figured out, at being human even. It’s okay. You’re allowed to fail. It’s good practice.

3. There is no competition. You are not competing to be ahead in life with anyone. There is no medal, no plaque, no award for where you need to be in life — or rather, where you have yourself convinced you to need to be. Take it at your own pace. Live your own unique experiences. Don’t rush, don’t push forward when you are losing the capacity to. Sit. Rest. Give yourself time.

4. Things only matter when you give them meaning and you make them matter. Choose wisely what matters to you. There are a million things that have your energy that don’t need to. Recognize them, let them go. Choose what matters to you, manifest it, learn to build it better.

5. Healing from past traumas is not a linear process. There is no onward and upwards only mentality. It is complex, all over the place, and often more painful than the trauma itself. It is still worth it. So much more than you realize. Invest in your healing. Find a pathway that works for you. The first step is to always understand that there will be relapses and that’s okay. Keep going.

6. If you think they hate you, you need to sleep. A lot of what we have ourselves convinced of is a trauma response or a trigger reaction to a past experience. Recognize it. It can influence the decisions you make — negatively, more often. It’s also not easier to tamper down those thoughts. It’s better to vocalize what you’re thinking or write them down instead of internalizing and letting them become a bigger problem.

7. Families aren’t always the safest places for everyone. Understand that not everyone has had the happy privilege of living through a functional family and not everyone has the same frame of reference for what a healthy family looks like. Give yourself the space to understand that with people and be nicer, be kinder and be more compassionate in your conversations.

8. Kindness goes a long way. Maybe not directly but it has a way of finding you. The world is already infested with a pandemic among a million other atrocities. If you cannot make it easier for someone, do not make it harder for them. Choose to be the kinder hand extended where you have the capacity to.

9. Sometimes, it is just nice to sit in the sun and just exist.

2021 might have been nice to me but it might not have been nice to everyone out there. It’s okay to accept individual experiences. May the new year be happier and sunnier for you. May it bring you love you have not known before, strengthen the love you know and everything in between. May you see a brighter, better version of yourself and those around you. Amen.